We can go out after dark, Because its Christmas Time.

Well Today, Is finally the day. Children Count down months ahead of time. 11 months of waiting, and my favorite time of the year.But This year, it hasnt really felt like christmas, The holly hasnt been enough, The lights must not be shining right, The tree's must not be green enough. Everything is the same, So im not really sure why everyone agree's that it just doesnt feel as magical as it used to, Maybe we've lost the sight of Things as we grow older.

Its times like these, Where you really think about the Real reason, Behind the sparkle of lights, And Green needles That make pointy hay. You see The star that shown above the stable. Where My love, My savior, My God was born. He was born a man, Mortal as any of us, As prone to sin, To feel emotion, To have urges. But he was not all man, He had The blood of the True king running thru his veins. He Saved me, He saved you. He saved everyone, Even tho he knew, Not all would accept him.

He knew some would reject, Some would make jokes just for a laugh, Some wouldnt even remember what he did on that cross, for the Eternal sake of everyone yet to be, has been, is, Living. He would have done it for just one, He loved us enough to die. A brutal death, Go to hell and come back.

Be jolly, Be happy. Love like he loved, Smile to brighten this world. Let him shine thru your eyes, with numbing kindness.
Open your presents, Drink your nogg, Laugh with your friends, But thru it all Remember. The real reason He came, Remember the love,

Brighter days are ahead, Brighter days are here if we only look for the light.
Be thankful for what you have, Dont Be jelous of what you dont
-ian S

The Vinyl Fire crackles,thump,Tick,

i got a vinyl copy today, i have become a happy man.
Something about vinyl, just makes the song so much more personal, So much warmer. Not cold digital to your ears, But warm melodies to your Heart. Its something you hold and you carefully set the needle to spin, Hoping not to scratch the delicate source Of sound.

Today, or today from about 2:54pm - 11:33pm, Was good, It always is pretty good. i hope that isnt bad. But if it is, im ok with it, Bad is only bad to those whose good, Isnt My Good. And my Good, in my opinion, Is better then "Their" good.

That crackle in vinyl, The tiny flaws, Are what people like me appreciate in it. Its not perfect, Its a little bit flawed, Like people. Ive always enjoyed live shows over a cd, anytime of the day. i would rather be with; honest, cracked people. Then Fake and fixed up, "Perfect" people.

That secret that we know;
But dont you look when you're Fleeing.
-Ian s

Candy Cane Covered Night

Tonight, In shorter form, was great. It had all the mixings and toppings for great salad of adventure like fun.

met a few new people, weird and i assumed wrong about them at first, Turns out their pretty cool people.Had fun doing stuff i wouldnt expect doing, But the most fun was in the little things, the endings:Tall windows, White walls,. Just peaceful ya know?

i was told a small story by someone, About them and someone, Not anything real heavy or deep.Just life in genral. But still nice to have been told, And at the end of it, She said, but you probably dont care. Fact is tho i do care, Not so much about a guy ive never met,(dont get me wrong, i met him, So i care) But to get a little more involved in someone's life, To see a new shift in the color spectrum of life, If i were to only listen to what i had to hear, and see only what i saw, that could be cripplingly limited, Not to mention boreing.

So thank you for the insight, i enjoy actual conversations with people who have something to say, whether or not i agree or disagree with it. Even if im just listning.

Merry christmas, Find adventure in Every Night
-Ian S

I is he, And he is i, He is in everyone, So i am everyone, And i am me, so me is we, we is he she thee they us them you(not really just fun word play)

Needless to say, Well needfull, No one but me knows, well about half, ramble.
i was utterly and life changingly inspired tonight, In a few more ways then one(a few meaning one or two possibly three to twelve really whatever number best pleases that said individual) for one thing, i ill wait to find that one lady, No reason why that ill say BUT i will, So thank you to you two, Even tho you did it un knowingly, And second, ive just seen some of the freshest guitar parts ive heard in a while, Very nice to see something new, or to me new.

Secondly, ive come to the realization, That i am me, i should not strive or be depressed because im not George harrison, or whoever(just an example of someone ide love to have been born as) But i was NOT born as him, Or justin vernon, Or Dan hunter. i
was born as me, The one With the name printed on paper as Ian ******(hehe) If i was to be born as someone else in another time, I obviously would have been born, But i was born and bred now, For these times.With my personality, My thoughts My patterns. im finally fully comeing to terms with this.

i Write the way i do, Because its the way i do, I act the way i do, Because its just how i am, I play the way i do, Because its just how i play. Dont be them, Because them Isnt you,They may wear a green shirt, It is ok to wear that green shirt also, But you by default, will inevitably wear it differently, So do not be sad that you dont look like them, Be happy they dont look like you.

Father taught me how to tie my shoes
-Ian S.

there's been a lot, A lot thats Been done this weekend, Or week. There's been death, A litteral Lack of existence. There has been creation, Creation Of new idea's, beliefs and hopes. Re-birth of dreams.

You could say, that the circle of life has happend, That There has been a full cirlce in week, So a Our weeks could be someone's lifetime. At a time where people are stretched so thin, Their true unders are visible. You see what there made of, Or what they are filed with at this time in their life.

Aaron, my co-worker from last year, The nicest person at my new job, Full of angry people, Who told me it was ok to work harder then everyone else, Even if the boss doesnt notice, Passed away. People at work make joke's about it, How they saw it coming, How he was an alcholic. For a time so did i, But i thought more about it and it made me sick. How could i possibly take so lightly this terrible Tragedy. Someone i worked with side by side for many months, Died. Did i influence him? or show him any Of God in the time we were together.

i can so lightly shrug off the fact, That to the best of my knowledge, He entered Well..not heaven.i was asked to go to the memorial service, not to attend but to make food for the occasion, and i saw many of his friends and family come in, And 8/9 of them were crying or snifling, But i did nothing but shrug, Is that bad? Should i not weep for the Loss? Because, there is no gain there..


Sing lofty songs of passing
-IanS

ive just made the world darker(i am a cobra now)

Good day, Last night, i should say good morning, And salutations.
Its twelve something, And ive just been asked to turn off the christmas lights outside by a tired Mother, This seems sorta sad, i know it has nothing to do with this, and by no means, actualy means this, But in a way maybe it does. We keep the lights on so long as their are people to see them, But when eye traffic slows down, Off go the lights, i didnt even know this.

-
The monster talks so loud and in such a rumble,Words caught in His muzzle of a mouth, We cant even hear his sophisticated speach, He directs his attention to the children Whom Would benefit most from his Words, But they run off in fright,From this monster of the night.Because, We see a predatory Beast ready to Devour the helpless, When rather He's the gentle Soul, Saving the crumbling Foundation of The world,which he see's from a clear view, That lays just outside his cave.
-


I will not wait in the weeds, I am a cobra now, I Will not die in the grass
We are the fortunate ones and we complain bout our lives
Ian S

The horizon is forced to swallow the sun

Goodness me, ide just like to smack the smug right off your face.
You treat this season and his reason, Like an amusement park ride,
You pull your child aside and Spank His hide, Your scream echo's,
Redfaced, spittled.

You will have fun!
(CRACK)
You will enjoy yourself!
(SMACK)

Some people just bother me, One second they whisper how tender you are, and how they'd never want to embaress you, The next second they just call you out, infront of people, to shame you into respect, I do not respect you.
-breath a sigh of relief
Rant over

i believe, One of my friends, my good friend. Is finally starting to understand, Certain things ive been calmy and patiently trying to tell him, i hope with my whole heart it begins to Gnaw away at him, So he comes to understand and believe it on his own, Not having it shoved down his throat, Like the Horizon is forced to swallow the sun.

i see some promising events, Or actions lineing up in my life, And for the first time i see a real possibility of some dreams, or passions, comeing true, No longer the fanciful, Day dreams, Filled to the brim with wishful thinking. But real possibility, That dear people, Is great news for me anyways.So on a random note i found out a guitar i got for $62.00, Is a 54' Acoustic, Cool right?

hmm well this isnt much of a squat or a jack, Nothing profound, or creative. i wish school was at ten not eight....
Later by the hour
-Ian S

Smile to brighten my room, Like no christmas light will ever do

So i havent posted much lately, I went from nearly daily to Not hardly ever. i hope i dont start this as a trend, starting all my entries with, I have posted lately. Anywho Onto the meat, or Veggies of the matter(depending on your well diet i guess)

Well, People all around seem to either be doing great, Or terrible. Its really quite sad, But normal still. This is the time, or the season, Where people Notice what they have. That can either be a great, Or terrible moment of realazation. We see how lucky we are, To have the friends, Family, Loved one's around, How much our life has progressed And we get swept up in the magic and beauty of it all. On the other hand, People can look and say, Shit this sucks. i have friends who hate me, A terrible family, The person who held my heart, Is no where to be found, To see we have not progressed but rather regressed. The snow that falls no longer feels sweet and uplifiting, But like a cold, smothering hand, That wishes to bury us.

For those of us who feel the First choice, Congratulations are in order. Drink as Much Egg Nogg as possible(i personally find it very nasty) Give Gifts, Cheer, Wear your sweaters With Joy, Sip your apple cider, And enjoy everything this holiday has the possibility to offer, And start the work towards another Celebration next year. But to those of us, Who Find ourselves Living in the later Situation, Empathy Not apathy. Again i will say, Drink as much holiday Beverages as your Bulging belly can hold, Laugh as only you can, Smile To brighten The room, The way no christmas light, no christmas candle; Could ever do.

Hope for the brighter day that is surely Just around your corner, The night is darkest Just before the dawn,Let this season work its way into your heart. Lets not look around, see how much better everyone has it and be resentful and bitter. But be happy for and with them, you might find some of it might just rub off on you, Break out your christmas sweater,That most people would agree is better hidden in your closet floor, Eat the cookies till you caint no more. Let the songs reserved for This month, Be heard and sung,Be of good cheer, Even if it seems the end could be near.Look out the window and see the first few flakes of snow, Create the impression of an angle that just fell from the sky, To those who feel its always winter and never christmas

i made it thru the year and i did not even collapse
with tired i stumble back into bed
-
ian S

The lining is silver, But the core is Gold

Its been a little while since i've posted anything, so i thought ide take these few moments i have and write out a little tid bit,
So this thanksgiving break has been a strange one as breaks have gone, had a friend i dont see often over, we didnt much of anything, Go figure. People came over, Most of which i didnt know, So i played the recluse. They made oreo balls, i wrote stuff.My new book i ordered Finally came in, Great book By a write i hope someday gets all she should Deserve.

I spent the first four hours of Black friday, at the mall. Not because i wanted to snag a deal, Or push an angry mom out of the way, while i grab a nifty nack, or a tacky Nick. Rather, i just enjoy the company of the people i went with, We all know each other pretty well, so there's no akwardness(well as much as i naturally produce but thats normal) So we can really do whatever or say whatever without wonder if they think were to stupid to hang out with, Fun times. Glad i got to hang with those long last boys.

"You try your best but you dont succeed" This is true, You try so hard to get what hope you need, But its really what you want, Then it seems that what you need, Seems To make itself clear to you, You look for the sun, But all you get is clouds, When thats really all you need to Give your sun Reddend Skin a break. i still know what i want to do, But i found a new or different approach, The one ive always truely wanted, But i never thought it would be achievable.
The lining is silver, But the core is gold

Wood Wicker,And tea, Insomniatic Dreams
-Ian S

Act I & II

The wolves

Someday what ive done for you
Will Ring Loud and clear
When you hear the howl
You’ll Remember my Pain

With the wild Wolves around you

Forget not what you’ve done
But remember and rejoice in
A second Chance.

In the Morning ill Call you

Find Comfort In what you’ve accomplished
You See what’s been saved, and what
Might have been Lost

Don’t bother me
Let me sleep

no title for you, i wish it was a secret

its 12:26, i should probably be sleeping, but that there is a task ive found to be harder and harder lately. So its been an interesting past few days, Cant say they've been great by my standards, Sunday was deffinatly a high ranker, A Play, Some scones, A movie, Slurpin soup, read a book, Then it went down hill.

im normally not an outwardly emotional guy, Not that im proud or not proud of that fact, But thats just how it is, or how ive let it comforably be, i feel no need to digress the reason for the only emotional outbreak ive had in a long while, i hate it. makes me feel weaker, But its like looking in a mirror, and you really see how you feel, and sometimes its that relazation that can just push you over, or is it despair, That just Pushes You smack dab over the walls, That you wish people would just stay the heck away from.
-Where is the love you so easily profess, You said it was the cross i should be going to. You found the reason for my pain, you just hung your head, said it was the door that i needed to be going thru.

Today, Today was i believe an ok day, Not great. The weather was beautiful, Soft quiet reflectful Clouds Rebounded one's thoughts right back into you, So the creativity that leaks thru ones ears, Come back with a resounding "ah ha" and create themselves anew. It was a day for tea, and movies, Guitar And Chill.
The local guitarist i greatly admire, Actually seemed excited to see me, Ha just a nice feeling, Asking me about my passion and what not.

-well i just finished the movie scott pilgrim for third time, Always will love that movie, i hope i have a ramona out there somewhere

Wanting collard and rimmed sleeved shirts,
awake for who knows how long.

-ian

i guess nothing is secret now, Guess i should have known

A Ring, Some Steak, A Life, One Flesh

This weekend, My family and i drove up to amerillo Texas. The drive wasnt to bad, Ipod was played, Scenery was Saw. Arrived at our hotel, Only to be swamped by fanciness. The rehersal dinner was deffinaltly a strange Thing to behold, We, or i stuck out like a sore thumb, i was missing my boots, cowboy hat, and Plaid button down shirt.

Ive never Been to a wedding before, Well not were i was old enough to remember. i didnt know what to expect, i wasnt sure if tears were to be shed, or if it was a somber or joyous occasion. It was a little of both, Handing off your daughter, Letting her create her own legacy. Seeing the Next generation step up to take To the reigns to your world.

To many it was simply another boaring wedding, but to me it was all sort of a surreal shock. It seems like just yesterday her and all my other cousins were at my grandmas house playing, and throwing grapefruits at each othe r, i blink and suddenly she was saying, "I do" She's married now, And someday not far off, She'll have kids playing at her house, And Her grandkids will get married, and she'll be watching them walk down the isle.

Makes me began to wonder, How soon will it be till its my turn to stand upon the Stage, and Say my expected dues.Not that im eager or not eager. But its a scary wonderful thought, How long Till im my own legacy to have carried on. Two lifes become one, Great or terrible, Gift or curse, Chain or plane.

i know these thoughts are no more my own, then the air we share. But It just seems the cycle continues without pause or care. Not that its a bad thing, But how quick and fleeting life really is, Your a child, Full of hope and aspirations, Then a teen, Full of dreams, and fears, Then an adult, Full of Care's and Bills, Then a Middle man, Full of Anxiety and debt, Then a senior, Full of dissapointment or Fullfilment.

i dont want to fall into that cycle, life's way to short to live with regrets, to many people die with dreams, Life is meant to be lived, in this day and age we have the ability to do so much more then just simply exist, We get to Live,

A country house, a liar and a louse live there
-Ian S

Your everyone's hero, Somone's your hero, We live in a world of potential hero's

i have so many words, But not the eloquence To make you listen. i have so many words, But not the experiance for you to heed, i offer Simplicity in the easiest form, but you prefer to jump thru hoops.
Today i did a presentation on what i believe america to be, And it was none to happy for the most part. Not that i believe America to be an evil and corrupt nation, But That everyman is looking after only one person, Himself. If we as a nation could just figure it out that its really not about us, Its about them, The masses. Only after thinking about this for a good while, Do i begin to understand something, If your giving of yourself, Your loving with the love that flows thru your veins, And if karma,Soeing and reaping are true, Someone is giving of themselves to help and care for you, Your somebodys hero, And Somebodys your hero, We are all in essence, Saving each other, The Tree saves the squirell by giving it acorns, The Squirell saves the tree by planting some of those acorns, Its a big circle, the sooner we see, and acknowledge those rules, The sooner we can leave the hate and selfishness behind, Everyperson Ticks for something, Find that and Help that Tick grow louder.
-Not sure
Ian

God Is Love, Love is God(Big Red Machine)

What is it about love, True True love, That just brings Tears, That Purge forth The pain we stuff down under Our skin and heart.But Not just Girl boy love, But true Selfless Love, Love That Will give all of itself, Selflessly For Someone, just to see them thru,
Love that will Lay Right Down there With you, that knows You Faults, That knows what your going thru, but just doesnt care. They Stay there with you, That doesnt care About the shirts you wear, the car you drive, The friends You Hang with.

Its all about love man, Love That doesnt Judge, Doesnt Condemn, Doesnt Hate, Doesnt Scream Damnation. Because what the Shit, Has that every done for anyone, How do you ever expect to change a life, To save a life, With hate and judgement. When Jesus died on the cross, was he screaming how much he hated Doing this, how we werent worth it, How he knew some of us would Never accept what he did. He knew this,But He Did not Hang there with hate,he Still..He still Died With Love, And joy, And your face, my face in his heart, Knowing the worst was yet to come but the for Love he died.

Why do people Feel they have to judge the world, When the very one who saved it, Didnt Hate the same world that was killing him, With Whips, Denial, Nails, Hate. You Cant, you wont Change anyone, By hateing them, By Telling them There to far gone.Just being there, Just Happy to be with them. You dont even have to speak, Just Let your actions speak of your Love, Fancy words wont Turn the world, And each man Is his own world. But God Keeps The world Spinning,And if God is love, Is it not safe to say, that Love keeps everymans World Spinning? If were to be like him, Should we not Breath Unconditional love?

Dont Pretend to help someone, But talk behind them about how much it disgust you, How much You hate it, How you can stand to be near it, Is all we've learned So soft, To not suffer, Is all i am To gone, All ive lived For me? i cant fill out enough paragraphs To make You understand, To make myself understand. Love is a friend, Love is God, not the Love that people throw around Like a dirty Sack in the wind, Love That Will Stick Thru till the end, That will hold on to you, When the Hurrican Is pulling you away. That will pull you up from The sinking Hole, that you yourself may have dug. Love is Tears That are Shed,Not for your own pain, But for the pain Of others, You would take their Pain if you only had the ability. To Sit with Their diseise, To make them feel less alone, Love is A dog, Who is always happy to see you,

i honestly believe tears are the first sign, The first early Sign. That Change Is on the way, Water flowing from The cracks of Our walls. That We can Change and learn, Grow To become, What We were made For. It starts With rain, That comes crashing From the mountian, Slowly and painfully carved Thru the thick dirt, slowly widening, But gaining speed with every passing minute, For every Bit it destroys, It Gives way for whole new life to begin, To give provision to Those who Thirst.

Love Is the trump card, to the game of life. Love is a dog Who is always happy to see you, Who lays right next down To you, and just knows your day sucks, That you've Messed up, But Just loves you anyways, Is just happy to share his couch with you, Who Loves you even when you yell at him for something he didnt do, Love's you even when He knows your leading him To his death

-In memory Of oden,
In memory Of Mac.
R.I.P

-ian Silver

im not hip, im not scene, im not thug, Im not even normal for pete's sake

Strange. i was asked at work, Since at your school you wear uniforms, how do you express that your you, you know, punk? or not punk but.. coffee house kid?

This question Kinda Put me at a loss for words, How do i let people know who i am? Do clothes Really make that much of an impact on how people perceive me? Do i require a tee shirt that says, my hobbies My passions and fears To let people know who i am? i really started thinking, do people just know who i am by what i dress, how i wear my hair? or lack of wear.

What exactly shapes Me?, What Builds Up Who i am To someone else? Where is my Stamp, My Signant Ring. When i sit in class, what is someones thoughts about me, who has never actually talk me. i know your not supposed to be weighed down with what people think about you, But its just a thought im having,

If i were naked, Would you only see me for my nakedness, or would you hear the words im speaking, the Melodies im Sharing? i love just hearing a song, or listning to a voice, and just imagine to myself, What that individual person looks like, is his voice reflective of his voice and words?, When a Person Performs Do we only see what guitar amp and Clothes he's wearing, Or do we enjoy what he's brought to the table, if the president were to give a speach in his Pj's We would think it was of little importance, Surely if he had something important to say who would dress himself nicely for my eyes to take pleasure in, Not the importance of his message.'

In writing this i think of an interview The late John Lennon did, He arrived at the interview, Under a thick white blanket, and he stayed under that blanket for the remainder of his interview, That just makes me respect him so much more, He was there to share his opinions, Not to be the Viewing spectacal for the world, If you just want a model to see, Take a picture, Dont come to listen If you just want to see.

Back to it all, i dont really know how i present myself, Or how i express my individuality. And to tell you the truth, i dont think it matters one bit, how you express yourself on your appearence. Yes i wear clothes i like, Yes i will continue to not do my hair; But Thats not who i am, thats how i choose to conceal myself, To stay warm. Who you are is what you do, How you Think,What Makes you smile?, What you have to say, What Songs you sing, How you choose to spend your time What you leave this world with once your gone, Not even Dead, just gone away.

A foot print Is a fossil Before the test, Will your mark stand the test of time? You are exactly who you want to be, Who you want to be Is So much more then Physical, Was albert Einstein Only the man with crazy hair? No, Absolutly not, he was the genius who changed so much we thought to be Confirmed, To actually be Plausible. Dont worry so much about What you look like, But what you ACT like, Dont worry about how you act as in your scared, But be you. Thats more of a statement Then any Stupid Shoes or hairstyle could ever Stamp on you.

rant rant rant.

-i am who i will be, i will be the best of what i was, The least of which i wasnt

-ian S

Ive Realized just how much music means to me

so, where to begin this monologe.
Well for starters, i spent my weekend up in Bartlesville. Was asked to play guitar for the worship band up there, i think i did pretty good. People were impressed, i had an inward smile. i learned this world isnt as small as i thought, but its getting Smaller all the time. i saw my cousin i hadnt seen in a long time. Didnt eat more then naked juice, for a whole day.

there were some kids at the church, people who by our standards in genrall, who would be kids we all agree are weird, and wold avoid like the plague.But the leaders at the church, were just so nice, Made these kids feel like a million bucks, Like Someone actually wanted to hear their two cents. Even if it was a pointless story about school. i think that goes a long way, to talk or show Gods love for us, How if we are to be like him, we need to spread that love. Not everyone thinks one way, So dont force them to, Were all dif, well were not. But we should be, So what if you think Alot different, then Everyone Else, People see Stars In the sky, you Black fabric with holes, Covering a white Background
side note.

ive Learned, i love music more then the average Person, i couldnt even begin to imagine my life without it, Not just playing it, but dont get me wrong, i am the most passionate about playing over most anything, But music in genral, It colors my whole day. my whole life, Every Toe tap, Every Hum, Every Breeze carries a melody yet to picked up anew and shared with each generation, "The Wind Crys Mary" Each Breeze, Every whisper of air thru the leaves, Is a new song, Harmony waiting to be weaved, To carry along the hearts, Hopes, Tears and Fears of People, What will The wind cry,once it passes thru My way.

So some people read This, i havent decided if i like or dis like this, so my thoughts arent just in outer space, but are in other peoples minds, which is The goal of everyone, To have Your opinions and thoughts reverberated thru the minds of others, ha na not really, People can get a good look in meh head, Thats prob not good, But who cares, Dif isnt bad. Thank you for giving me some of your precious non refundable time, to share some thoughts with me

Stadium Lo-Fi
-ian S.

Do you ever wonder if your body type, Is reflective of your Personality

No happy Thursday Post from me, i cant say it was great, i wont say i loved it. But i came To realize a few things On that odd day That stars with thurs, i Finally realize why its called THURSday, your Thursty for the weekend, a break from the routine, the humdrum of everyday life, You get to put up your umbrella to protect yourself from the acid filled rain,called your weekday.
Do you ever wonder If your body type fits Your personality?, i was told mine does. i dont know. but that sounds bad. Small and thin.....

On a side note, i used to be so sad i was never As quickly Liked as other people, But i read that i at least, Bring a little peace, in my overcrowded, Loud music, Odd Smelling car, this is enough for me, for now. If i can somehow help bring a little Joy, or peace, or Relief From some sucky situations, Then ill gladly feel like an outsider if i can just help someone else, give someone else a smile.

i never want it to be said, i brought people down. Only smiles, If it only has to be uncomfortable smiles, at the akwardness i might create, So be it. So its funny to say the best part of my saterday Was Ihop, for sure. It is also safe to say that I can now drive thru a hurricane, Seeing as i can Surrvive Four crazy Hooligans Going crazy in my backseat, getting kicked in my head
This aint like meh other Writings But oh well.

"Im in the middle of your picture, Lying in the Reeds"

-Ian S

i wrote this whole thing out in a british accent on accident.

Any movie, that can evoke the Emotions, Not to mention a passion out'uv you, Is a great movie if you ask me. It makes me think that maybe ive got to much, to many smiles, If thats how ruff'E had it, Well maybe there's some of the magic? In order to succeed in the end, Do you have to suffer in the begining. One thing i know for sure tho, ive seen how hard he practiced, im not so sure how acurate that is, But im gonna do it, ill never be quite as cocky as he, But im gonna do it, Just you wait and see.

He was Inspired By elvis, Now im inspired by him. im not sure what the world wants, Or how to get there. The more i think about it, the less likely it seems, So ill just stop thinking and do it

All the greats seemed to have a cocky spirit about them, Like im gonna do this you just wait and see. You'll be beggin me for a handout. They slept with their guitars, Should do it as well. i dont mean to sound like The guy who only wants to play music for money, cause thats not me at all. But i do want to make a livin out of it.

hmm

Yesterday is forever and non existent at the same time

so ive noticed that, This year has already arrived and is passing me by, quickly, maybe to quick. In the moment, it seems to crawl. But when i look back, so much has already come and gone, and each and every moment feels like Just yesterday, Which is an eternity.
Yesterday is Forever. But non-exstistent at the same time.

i want to Grow up and get out so quickly, But at the same time i dont want to, only a very little part of me doesnt want to,Its a big world, And im not even a big fish in a little pond, Im not even the fish in the pond, Im the Sitting outside the pond, looking in. And it seems im not taken se iously anywhere i go, im always little ian, The kid who's hair you rub your hands thru, Yes im young, But im no child. i guess, An important or big reason i want to grow up or Get out of My house,On my Own. Is to prove im not just a kid, That My dreams arn't Just the fanciful Daydreams that every kid has, i want to be the one of twenty Who make their dreams a reality,

i refuse to be one of those Kids,Who grow Up to be Living in there fourtys still Expecting Things to happen, When there Not living in a dream, But in a lie. i wanna grow old, look back and say, wow. Life was lived. i want to someday inspire people. i dont want to appear vain, but i want to show the world, What a kid who sits in the back of the class, doodling and daydreaming can do.

im gonna give this sick society, a swift sucker Punch to the goNads

Neither shaped, Nor Formed, Made Or Re-designed, But Created

ive noticed, as much as i profess to be my own individual, i take into note, how the people i admire act, and i try to base my decisions, my outward, not appearence, but outward atitude i guess would be more proper, Not that i do it often, or not that i really do it at all, but i constantly find myself wondering,considering; Would they be louder? Would they go say hi, Would He Play this solo like this or like that. It makes me wonder how many people are truely themselves, and it also makes me love the people who without a doubt Are who they Are. i read today something very, wise." What would the world be like if none of us had ever met,"

What if no one, Ever met anyone. i know thats a vague and open thought, but what if we were all, Truely our own person, we didnt mold our actions to be like someone, because we never truely knew someone, we would be the color wheels of life, inspiration and admiration are two great things, But lets not Change out our mirrors, For Portraits and paintings.

Let no one make you, Or shape you. We should strive to be the Rain in the dessert, that refreshes Everything,everyone,In the dessert, with its change of pace, its refreshingly newness qualities. Be the rain,

This will Surely stop for me, i will be my own, I shall Be the putty for none but the one who's hands have made me.

ive Slowly realized something, i really dont want (input names here) to start driving, because it means i wont have to drive them anywhere, so i wont get to hang out with them, and they are for sure the coolest people i know, sounds weird i know, but i really like hanging out with them, even if im totally dif then them, or they think im weird, sad days...

i will.. I wont!

i , dont want to be out done on every corner, it seems the soonest second i get my confidence back, the world shoves something else in my face that says, "look, how could you even think, you could be somebody, more then just another car in the traffic clogged highway of life, a one way street where all drive to the death of themselves, To Simply live a life of taking, and losing, selling and hoarding, Wake up, eat your breakfast, Go to your job, come home, say hi to the wife, Hit snooze, then repeat"

i will NOT have a life such as this, i refuse REGARDLESS of how i might view myself or my ability, No one's gonna carry you to the top, We have to take the Steps Ourselves. You have to be the first one to Say i think i can, Before the ball really starts rolling,

i refuse to be an echo, i will be a voice.

woa man, my breath just whoosed

man, im about as confused as can be, i thought i was so sure what i wanted but, ha now im not at all. am i selfish? Yes.. Do i want to be? no.. but yet i find myself in this pit anyways. i never meant to hurt ANYONE i never wanted that. i just idk, im a dude i dont really know what i want when it comes to girls, i want to be able to be friends with them, But i dont want anyone else to be MORE then friends with them, if i cant have then no one can haha sorta thing, i just. woa, stunning man.. if i could change it i would, or would i? i just really dont honestly know what i want, i want the mint chocolate chip, But i still want to go to the icecream store and look, is that wrong? YES, yes it is but ha, im working on getting rid of that nasty train of thought. so dont shoot, call off the charge,

i profess to be neither king or prince, Smart or charming, Handsome or sweet.
All i know for sure is
i play music
i read books
i write stuff
i have messy room
i mean no one harm
i dont like meat
i dont like milk
i like green's
like oranges
i like brown
i like Red
and i love aged olympic white strats pre cbs

Nerves like Noodles, Served with a peanut and soy sauce

i dont know why i can be as unsure as a man at the alter, for first time. mostly i just have a big bowl of confidence soup, and splash it on the ground, and dont even let my feet touch the puddle, but i just think ill never actually get noticed or appreciated as more then the weird lil kid. im not even that young. It seems i cant do enough, But at the same time i actually am, If i move to a different then usual lunch table, and next thing i know, my nice quiet table that i hoped would be genrally empty, Is soon filled with the people who Moved from the old table.

i dont really know what im saying here, just ranting. all i have to say is, or basically, Girls are scary, The serve up a big heaping plate of asian style nerves, dressed as noodles, Hmm i hope people dont actually think im rude or mean, i can just come off that way sometimes, mostly because im thinking of something entirely off subject, So to those i apologize

Those Weird Kids are The coolest i know

im finding more and more, that people and things, that really used to bug the crap out of me, know dont seem as bad. Mainly My brothers, And Stuff like that, i hafta say, im actually jelous of his friends, There all so tight together, not like their cool, But there who they wanna be, even tho there not all the same, Its really what its supposed to be about,

i dont really even know what i am like, im the same around everyone, but sometime's im so quiet, others just really weird. Am i changeing, or just dif moods, They actually, Give me a good feeling, Its, there's hope for people after all, Their not perfect, and have sorta crazy lives, But there all good people: Individuals, Not ordinary, Its funny how the people most people consider weirdo's, Even consider me odd .i hope they dont think im to weird ha, but if they do im just A O K with that.

so im starting a side project band with london, i think it could be great, We've decided to have no genre's. We are music, not another label, Music is the only label i want it under, True, Honest, Real, Not to say where going to be having hard core break downs. It will Lean More towards chill, Indie, Folk.

What might have been lost.
-Ian

They haven't seen the canvas, Because they are the Canvas

im growing more and more to hate beginnings, and especially ends. Its not that i hate Starting or trying new things, its not allways bad, Quiting smoking to begin A tar free life isnt bad. But, if there is a beginning, then there must also be an end.And here lies my saddness. i know people say things come and go, But it doesnt mean i have to like it. People and friends, i HATE saying goodbye, especially when it never happens, Its like a frog getting boiled, you dont even see it comeing, and dont notice before its to late. Friends, in a way, are like songs, Some songs you listen to for only a while before you get tired of it, and began to see all the flaws, Others You love for the flaws,(indie music for example), But then there are songs,that no matter how many times you hear, you still sing the words out at the top of your lungs, or simply sit there in awe of the melofluous and lyrical genius, You will always listen to that song.

Songs are like Chapters, And Chapters Are friends, But It takes many chapters to make a book.
Favorite songs for example, There are times where i only listen to a few songs because i like them so much, and they become part of that chapter in my life, when i hear that song, it brings back that memory. And for a time i get to go back and re read that chapter, Regardless if it is good or bad. That song has colored my memory, and affects how i remember it, how i precieve it. Never the less it has created my book.

(For me, if im reading a book, and i have a song playing, i tend to replay that song or playlist, because it gives the book a voice, or a more resounding echo, You can Think of christmas all you want, But you think of more then just morning , You think of all it entails, The sounds, The smells, Just the feel in the air.)-random off side note

Songs are so powerful, they Paint the silence with Images and Flavor our memories. You hear that song, and For me i always think of the time, when that song really was the soundtrack to my life, And everything around me seems so much more alive,Everything Carrying lingering Scents of the past. The little details, that i paid no mind to, suddenly seem significant, i find myself sitting alone on my couch, laughing at some point made in the past, Especially if it is a memory, of a good time, songs have power.

i can totally remember ,what song went with what time, Small example
Across the universe soundtrack : Last year during winter, driving home from work, in the freezing cold, with my thin Jacket
Imogen heap, the moment i said it, Hide and seek : 8th grade year when i read maximum ride trilogy.
Island in the sun : 8th grade summer to freshman year start.
Paramore, all i wanted, Misguided ghost : Around this time last year, ...(sad)
Explosions in the Sky : Most of last years Summer, And from October thru Febuary(about all i listend to)

Each song is a like a painting to different people, For one it Might be The suttle use Of shadeing that really shows the sadness,
Or the Tree in the back only has leaves on one side to them Show's how we all have a mask of everythings all right.
So is a song to each of us different but the same, i hope to oneday be able to Paint on the biggest canvas the world has ever seen, They havent seen this canvas because they are the canvas

Listning to My own memories.
-Ian

Vegan Pyscic Powers

So i have this friend who's odd loud and well she's very cool in my opinion , She's not my best friend, But i consider a decent friend, i can be weird or akward around her, basically myself , but anyways. The other night One of my friends asked me ,"Is there something wrong with, in the head, or is she just like that?" Right off the bat i just said "ha oh she's just like that" But throughout my day ive actually been seriously Thinking to myself, is she a little messed up in the head?, and the fact that im even, or that i did, thinking,thought,think that just makes me feel awful, so what if she's a little ecentric, Or out there, i say we need way more of those people who are happy to be them, So what if there Loud, Or just make freaky weird sounds, i just hate how if someone isnt like us, or the population in genral( i am not saying i am anything like the population in genral, i pride myself in being odd, and being called weird, im me BUT oh well) People are who they are.

We shouldnt suffocate people, and press them into a box, Claustrophobia is a terriible fate to suffor, To be so confined in a box that you feel you cant breath, no one can hear, no one can See you. Yet we force people into a small box and say STAY there, dont move, be quiet, dont stand up, stay crouched in the mud.

Pretty awful aint it?
i for one appreciate the weird odd Crazy people, who stay up late to watch eighty's movies, Who want to be a cyclying nomad, Who stay up into the wee hours playing pokemon, Or final fantasy(i know ive done some of the above OFTEN!)
Lets learn to accept people

If we only had one type of music, ide grow to hate it.
Thats why we like music, beacuse it all express's The same thing, but through a different lense.

Be kind, One day you'll be at the end
and wonder why....

Couldn't sleep till i wrote this

Does anybody but me ever feel unworthy?, or useless? im not really sure how to explain, but do you ever feel sometimes like you wish you weren't the kid with the good family, or nice car? Because people who have a crappy family or no car, or whatever, just wont like you or listen to you? becaus what is anything ive gone through compared to what they've gone through?
Like have dealt with so much, and im just another average ho hum

Or like there are tons of kids who are nicer, better, or just more deserving of a nice life then you are?
People who havent done anything but be born, same as you, but they get the crap shovel...and you dont
Because when your off guard, and your kindo meter just seems low..
and you have the nerve to feel bad about it
while they worry about bills, or if there mom's gonna leave the family....
idk these thoughts always seem to run their race...

Woe is not Enough,

Hmm.. Man, some people i just dont get, how they can be so rude, to someone who is so obviously down on their luck, i mean ive been rude, but im constantly working on it, people tho, they cant cut a break to the guy who is 18 and working at walmart. has to pay bills he shouldnt have to, but people are to caught up in themselves.

i wish life was like a movie, more so like scott pilgrim, or Eragon, where i could be the good guy, to help make everything better for some one, but sadly no, i get no great adventure, No thrill of the chase, no seven evil ex's to fight off.

people say christians are supposed to be the judges of the world, but i dont believe that at all, maybe a guide, but not a judge, thats God's job, not mine, how many times has yelling at a person out of anger or disgust ever made them agree with you?, no it doesnt, its the people you hang with, listen to their thoughts, Their hate's their fears, Their dreams, and you Love them for who and what they are, It doesnt mean you agree with their faults, you can slowly help them, But no one wants to be yelled at for their mistakes, "you'll catch more flies with honey, then with vinegar." Its so true, People would much rather listen to someone who's been their for them, but you have to be honest.

sometimes i wish i was the stupid kid, with nary a thought running through my head, But ha thats not me, i see everything with a double meaning, i get side tracked with so many thoughts, especially when typing or writing, i get caught on one thought, start typing, but my fingers dont keep up with my thoughts, so i end up jumping around like a crazed maniac on muscle relaxer..

basically
Give people a break, what if NO ONE ever cut you any slack because your weird, or you liked video games that are for kids ten years younger then you?, You would rather stay home and read a book, then go play poker with a bunch of kids who dont really want you there,Because your a little unsure how to act around people, so your just quiet and akward.

Just give love, and compassion seriously.

and i want to be the good guy, reading all these books make me grow to hate the routine of my life...
i want to play music that connects with people's soul...there very self, the weird kid who Doesnt know what he feels...

Im confused but i feel truth

In one of my classes, At the begginging of the year, We're asked to write down what the Lords telling us, And for the past three years, the same people say the same thing,
Deception, Comeing darkness, Evil, i mean i know that stuff is all out there, and that we can fall for it or into it, But i don’t think that’s all God has for this year.

i mean, Yes that is COMEING, but i don’t believe at all that’s what this year is ABOUT, i mean that’s sorta missing the point i think, YOU SEE a storm cloud coming and decide to base your month on that cloud, Forget just grabbing and umbrella and boots,
no, you decide to build a bunker, deep underground, with no contact to the outside world , No checking to see if THEY can prepare for storm, and there the ones who have no idea its even comeing. you completely miss the beauty of the storm, The calm BEFORE the storm, And the Awe inspiring aftermath of the storm

By being so afraid of what it COULD do, you wont be able to see what it DID do, ive seem to have gotten side tracked but who reads these anyways?? WHO CARES

I read all these things, here all these different views on who and what God is. But i just don’t know what is truth anymore..
For so long i was told you had to do this and that, and not this, If you think this way, Your no longer saved. But then i heard the message of Grace, and for a season everything clicked, it made sense, People say That the message of Grace is letting Christians get away with All sorts
of bad, But the message didn’t make them do it, its nothing they wouldn’t have done before, Grace gives you the ABILITY to not sin, To not focus on ourselves, But on Him, What he did for Us, Through him We have the ability to NOT sin, But to accept the righteousness That he gave his only son for.

People can so eagerly Believe, that Jesus took all our sins on the cross, So wouldn’t it make sense that WE took his righteousness?, He didn’t die for just our past sin..because WE WERN'T even around at the time, So he must have died for sins PAST PRESENT AND FUTURE, so we must be covered from those we will do and have done, but that doesn’t mean we go and SIN, that’s totally missing the point, WE NOW HAVE THE
ability to no longer sin. That’s the beauty its no longer in our own strength BUT in his, Because if Jesus, Holy spirit, TRUELY live inside of us then Sin should be no more , it is no more

Wouldn’t the whole point of him dying for ALL OUR SINS be so we don’t have to keep feeling sorry and pitiful, i mean how stupid is this? "Man I feel so good today, I haven’t lied in a week, No porn for
month, I’ve really cut back on cussing, I’m being so nice I’m sure God in all his pure awsomeness can use me for his benefit now!" – Isn’t that works?? trying to make it to heaven by works? And you know what else is a prevailing and repeated word through that statement, “I” “I” “I”.

Doesn’t the bible say our good deeds are as filthy rags before God??
SO WHY would things such as that matter, they lead to THIS
"Man.. I was doing so well, but.. I lied about stupid things, STUPID things that don’t even matter. I Started cussing with other people at work SO I don’t look prude, I really thought some nasty things about
that girl.... God could never use me...(two weeks later)
MAN oh man, I’ve been doing great I’ve totally cleaned up my act, IM so clean and sparkly now!! I bet God just cant WAIT for ME to get to church, I even took notes. IM SUCH A GOOD PERSON

NOT!!!

i know those are pretty lame examples, but its close to, at least for me, what my thought process used to be concerning me and God, But if Our righteousness and standing with God, Was based on works. i’m LONG GONE!!, But its not..i think. God forgives us and uses us REGARDLESS, he helps us overcome He needs Us to be willing, he helps us change and get the bad out, and him in, If you spend enough time with him he Will wash away all that needs to be washed away.

i’m not saying we throw caution to the wind and just do a bunch of of
stupid stuff, Its not a get of jail free card, we should live as examples of Jesus were not crazy people.(ehhh haha) But im saying idk im working on bettering my writing or expressing skills, Yes we fear God, Yes we obey him, But its through HIM and through HIS GRACE we do it, we dont have the power on our own, The old testament proves that, The law in the old testament did nothing but further bind, and push people away from God, ,

say, there were these people, and unless they stayed wet, they would die, So some people carried around water and just splashed themselves enough to get by, hour by hour ,day by day, Some people decided they would only leave their home when it was raining, So they could Enjoy the other world, but still stay comfortable, But other people didnt even want to feel dry,They just lived in the ocean,
or hmm
let me try again, that didn’t get my point across, God IS the water we live in to survive, To keep the dry off of us, its not like we get our fix and then struggle struggle struggle, then get our fix again, We should STAY in him, totally drowned.

Maybe this one will be a little better

There were these people who had to Stay wet to survive, But they must bath in this One certain lake to Be clean, Healthy, Happy, And fresh.
Not only did this lake keep them wet for a whole day, But it also Kept them healthy, Happy, And care free(just to really drive home the lake is GREAT)

Now some people, would just carry lake water around in jugs, and splash themselves on the parts that would start to hurt after awhile, Just enough to keep patching their way through life. Now Some people Felt compelled To try and stay totally clean Before Getting in the Lake water, They'd scrub themselves clean with their tap and bottled water, Before they'd even go near the lake, They had to be perfect in THEIR own eyes, Before they Felt , That they could truely be cleaned by the lake,(works, And law.) But Other people, Stayed totally immersed in the lake the never even got out of the lake. Never worried about drying out, or getting sick, Sure they could just have easily jumped out of the lake, Just as everyone else did, they could have gone and seen the world, But why? they have everything they could EVER want, and dont hafta worry about all the bad, Its not even a concern for them any more, There not clean by anything they've done, EXCEPT stay in the lake.

Idk if that really got my point across but im trying

Is God
The lion, The lamb, The baby, The warrior, The sacrafice, The king, The savior, The lover, The comforter,
Or all of them at once??

Silence

So i heard the otehr day, That Benjamin Franklin Practiced traits like for a week straight he'd work at something.
i think im gonna start doing something like that but not just virtues, i might do being silent for a week, That sounds
awsome, because the way i see it, the more words you have comeing out of your mouth all the time, the less important
Each word becomes, The significance is gone, "the squeaky wheel gets the most attention,But its the first to be
replaced-Ian s." ha, But you get what im saying,

If every ten seconds every thought you have is flying out, why would people want to listen? im going to start
practicing being quiet, When the guy who is always quiet makes a suggestion, people will want to hear what
he says, if its important enough for him to speak up, why not listen.

So sometime this or next month im going to do a week of silence or at least a week with no more then 100
words. i dont want to be the kid who is just always talking, trying to get a quick laugh, And if You think about
what your going to say, the less likely it is you'll say something stupid, well thats my thought for the day
Enjoy

Scott, Eragon,Hendrix,Beatles,

i've noticed that whenever i read something, or listen to someone alot, Or watch a movie
i want more and more that my life be like that which im reading listning to or seeing,
i dont believe this is bad, im still childish in my imagination, but still shouldnt i be happy
with me?

Say, i read an adventure book, i notice more and more how boreing i think my life is,
i read a book about an eluf girl, im like hmmm, or an eluf guy, im like i should be more quiet
(even tho i already am quiet) Or listen to a style of music, i want to play like jimi, Or sound more
like harrison, i wanna be like sufjan,

Not sure what i mean by this, but ha. Just saying that we are shaped by what we spend our
time doing, not that it totally makes us up, but if we listen to strictly depressing music,
we'll always feel really melancholy, Be happy with what you are, dont shift it for others
But be willing to change the bad, if you have a horrible temper
dont just accept that, Work on it, But dont start acting stupid just cause someone who people
like is stupid.

....ramble.....change point....ramble....lose sight of original reason for writing......fill bottom with sad explanation....
end

Perspective

People always warn people about getting to close to someone,
Or Hearing what people who openly opose your beliefs or Rules
Have to say. Not that i will Listen to an atheist and switch over to
atheism, But It doesnt hurt to have as open a mind as possible
As long as you have a filter, Or at least A timer, You dont want
to drown yourself in Other people's thoughts so much you cant
remeber which are your own and which ones arnt.

But its like i heard someone say "If you have ten blind people
All touching an elephant and describe it to you, Some will say
'Wow this feels flat and rough', While Yet another would say, 'This
Feels polished and smooth' Long and hollow" Would any of them be
Necessarily Wrong, But none of them can see the Whole picture

Now im not saying that an atheist is right, i WHOLE heartedly
belive there is a God, The God, He created us in his image,
He is the supreem ruler of heaven earth, sky, Inbetween
Basically everything and everything inbetween
So it couldnt hurt you, If your strong enough in your beliefs
To hear what others have to say, But thats not to say we dont
have enough of an open mind, To Have our world rocked,

Recently my worlds been rocked by a little thing or two things
Called, Grace, And then A creative god

Before i heard or even thought of either of these things i was
totally sure that Life and existence was one way, that God was
THIS, but my world was rocked, and i see now i didnt have the
whole picture
Not to say God Isnt to be feared, Or We should be acountable
But he is the, Lion, The lamb, The warrior, The savior, The king,

Same goes for worship, ITs not This style and no more
God is infinatly creative. But i have a whole nother blog about that
SO basically

it cant hurt to be open to other things
You can draw insight, Inspiration and wisdom From Listning, Not
just hearing, but listening

But you dont have to absorb everything you hear as truth
Eat the hay but spit out the sticks as Pastor Hagen used to say

I.....i

Ive noticed, When people write or type or whatever,
I "i" is always capitalized... I Just had this thought Why is it
Capitalized ha, We capitalize things like God, Or President
But are WE(we, me) That important?
That we go back over our words and Look for i's i'm just
thinking out loud here, dont bash my head open for goodness
sake.

But are we? Is it about Us, OR about Them, Or him?
i just wonder, i think for a while im going to leave i
lower case

just as an experiment

Disgusting

I hate On facebook, those skanky fake profiles that throw themslves at you.
Why the heck do they do that to dudes??
Its hard enough to even get on the computer with all these adds,
But they throw these into the mix?...
They mix
Makes me sick..
Seriously
it also makes girls feel bad...
idk ha i just hate it

Objective

Hmm
Well i just dont really know, and thats somethings thats hard to say.
It always seems like i have something to say, An opinion, Or an answer.
But i dont.I'm not sure if im right, Or if im even in the ball park
I want to be the rain to someones desert. ha so to speak

I want to be able to go to other States, maybe countries.
And other people come to hear my music.
Ill know then im not wrong, Im not just
another crazed person, Who wont
Grow up, Living a lie, But im not
crazed you see, Im simply...
Crazy, There is a
Diference

The man who Eats sand because he believes its Sugar.. Is crazed

The First man who said he could take sand and make it glass

WAS crazy. but no more

Alone

In A big room, Full of faces, Laughter. Even full of people you know.
You Can And do still feel enitirely and utterly Alone.
What is that gives us that feeling of content? Lets feel at peace With
And the world, Lets us enjoy ourselves, Happiness
Is it a choice, Or something uncontrollable.
I believe it to be a choice but a choice of what?
Do you choose who's there that drives away the empty feeling?

Why, heavy
Even if your heavy in my arms.
At least your still in my arms

wo o o o o
mmmm da...dum...Dlee do...

The most powerful part in a song can be when there are no words
The silence, lets your own thoughts and passions fill the void
The Hum can be your own words
If silence Is powerful
Why do we put so much Thought into wise words
If words are filled with wisdom
Is wisdom filled With words

We will love, we will fall,
MMM danana dul de da du

Egomaniac

When the moon shines for me,

He doesn't worry what I think

He doesn't check to see if he pleases

He simply does as he has,

He is proud in knowing

That he is the light in Night

Safeguard of weary

Path to the wanderer

Master of Lore

He worries Not about What others Think

He is

The moon

That is all he wants to be.