Ill take a brief break from saving memories. It used to be simpler, before my self image rose. When i thought i had nothing of value to offer anyone. Before i thought i was smarter. I would just say things to clear my head, or try to impress somebody, try to improve somebody, stop somebody. I cant ever see things the same, once someone tells me how they see me. I dont want to let down their expectation, but by trying i do. At least it feels that way

I guess life just goes that way. Progression can too often be found in regression. Ive been looking through my older writings, and somehow they feel more honest,idk. I'll hear back from the schools i sent applications to by the end of this month. Hope it's not all in my head. Thats the key tho, it's all in all of our heads.

Ive probably said it before, but oh well. I always assume that what people are saying,speaking, is a direct reflection of what they are thinking. Therefore, If they only speak non sense, chit chat, Worthless noise, etc.. then they must only think about such things. For some reason, i dont apply this rule to myself. The words i say are significantly fewer then the words i am thinking. Why wouldnt it be the same for others? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. But it's extremely presumptuous of me to believe im smarter based on what other people say in comparison to what i think, isnt it?