But today i feel an infinite ability to be depressed, to embrace depression. Everything seems so sad and trivial. Why do people spend the best 20 years of their life doing dull work. If it makes them happy i guess, but it seems everything just runs towards a miserable end. Happy love, burned out in a sad marriage; young love put out by a young couples baby. Life ends i guess, i cant really explain myself too well right now. Is the trick in self illusion, or disillusionment. I was talking to alli the other day, i asked her how do you define great men? Why does history only tell the tales of great men? Even those great men become forgotten. We dont remember the things that really matter, sure they made some great art, or they found some new theory, But what was their favorite morning routine, did they love, really love? Were they a morning or night person, what did their neighbors think of them? People strive to be remembered after they are being eaten by worms. Why? Does being remembered make you any less dead? NOPE, when you have dirt in your ears, i dont think you really care anymore. Strive for everything but for what? Asking these questions dont accomplish anything, will being remembered cause the worms to be any less hungry? No, but i like that little quip, it pleases me.
Well...i have to head to work...i think im done making soap...i dont like it..or the atmosphere
sorry, ill be fine soon
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